I heard the words blown up by southern winds
Carried and accepted as if on birds’ wings
As they fly and they flit between the clouds
Sifting together as though lost in crowds
How am I to make sense of all this stimuli,
Especially when “I still love him” you cry?
All is good and well with that I suppose
Hark and listen to what I propose
I will not speak of what I feel
But this pain inside is real
It’s tearing me and I’ve nothing left
These pieces of me; I am bereft
Why will you not listen, listen to me?
Where’s my break, my chance to be?
I can’t go on from behind these eyes
Such is this that pain implies
Quelling the crushing with force of an ox
Crushing the quelling under force of locks
And I stand tall, not proud, but tall
And I let myself on that great fall.
Ah the calm, the rush, the endless light
The sleep, the rest, diminishing sight
My, my it’s warm, not as cold as thought
What lies are these that we were taught?
Farewell, hello, I’m sure I’m here
What’s come, what’s gone, what is this tear?
Why is your face all twisted so?
Was it not you who bid me go?
Should I have stayed but for what hope?
Which way pointed this particular slope?
How was I to know if you were not one or either?
So why care you that I disperse to ether?
You push and you pull and not even you know
Which direction you truly mean me to go
But that was where I found her there
In between it all, my darling fair
My new light, my utter delight
My energy, my returning sight
My wishful thinking I’m so sure
But could she really be the cure?
Just one sip is all I need,
Just a taste and I am freed
And here the locks just break and fall
The ropes are gone and I stand tall
I am proud and strong and wish you could see
That you failed to do what you did to me
The winds will no more carry a single word
For there is nothing you say that can be heard.
You’ve said enough before and how
You wish you could change what’s happened now
And how I wish that things were not so sore
I cannot fight what is in my core.
And these birds they fly and fly away
Towards the sun and a brand new day
And I’ve awakened from this state
No more to be consumed by hate.
© Kris Blackburn 15/11/10