In a small, lonely meadow, a fox was being hunted for sport. This fox desperately needed a place to hide, and so ran and looked, and looked and ran. Eventually, Foxy came to take shelter beneath the protruding roots of a chestnut tree, as they were able to bend the light in such a way that it would distort the vision of many a bloodhound. Here she plotted revenge.
Foxy took out her mobile phone and rang around frantically for assistance. Unfortunately, none of her friends were in a vicinity or state of mind to assist, as she was the only one who did not attend her friend’s birthday shindig in large, crowded meadow the night before. Cursing her own impudence and bad luck, she rang directory enquiries. After small-talk pleasantries with the operator, she was connected to the largest contractor of road rollers this land had to offer. Ordering a special, urgent delivery of the Caterpillar CS-533E vibratory roller, Foxy retreated to her den.
In case you are unsure as to which direction this story is going, then read on. In fact, read on regardless, else this is just an unfinished reading session.
In her den, Foxy cooked mouse flavoured pot noodle for herself, and calmly awaited the delivery of her Caterpillar CS-533E vibratory roller. She didn’t eat the pot noodle; she just cooked it so as to scent her abode. She often did so as this pleased her more than buying a scented candle. There is no reason for this, it just happens to be the way it is.
Luckily, Foxy had given the correct address details to the operator at www.roadrollerhire.org and they delivered with haste and the satisfaction guaranteed, a Caterpillar CS-533E vibratory roller, driven by Charlie Chaplin lookalike Joanna Lumley. The sound of the impending road roller drove Foxy out of her hole, and thus drawing all the bloodhounds towards her. Some may think this foolish, but as the fox is a most cunning creature, it was no such thing. Foxy had led her oppressors directly into the road rollers path, and owing to the insatiable nature of Joanna Lumley’s road roller fetish, the hounds were squelched into the ground where they stood.
Foxy and Lumley became firm friends almost immediately after the incident, and together they rode into many a sunset upon their Caterpillar CS-533E vibratory roller, happy in the knowledge that they had vanquished the enemy in this story. Happy that is until www.roadrollerhire.org tracked them down and demanded their vehicle; to this day they await the return of the Caterpillar CS-533E.
© Kris Blackburn 10/02/2008