Once upon a time there was born a princess, a daughter, to a king and a queen. This young girl grew into the most beautiful woman in the world. Never before had the macrocosm witnessed someone possessing such pulchritude. As she grew, she was courted by all the princes in all the kingdoms of the world, and even certain princesses of questionable leanings, most of which hailed from Australia and one such from the far reaches of Cambodia whose gender was so indistinguishable that not even the greatest scientists in the universe had any idea of her true designation.
Due to the pressures of being famously beautiful, she lost her pretty little mind and took to riding through Coventry upon the back of a camel, wearing nothing but a daffodil to spare her from her blushes. From all of the people in all of the the wide world she could have settled with, she choose a small, fat, balding man of German descent called Morris, who lived in a cave and brewed wine, and whose odour was that of disinfectant and pumpkin jam.
Luckily they were a match made in heaven, and they lived happily in the happily ever after, feasting on pigeons and imitation soya for special occasions, but normally they would subsidise on lichen, noodles, and the sediment run off from Morris’ failed fermenting endeavours. So tells the story of Alyssa the Princess and Morris the Principality, as such he created for himself using her royal connections. What else happened in the ever after is perhaps a story for another day.
© Kris Blackburn 09/07/2015